Why do appliances use crappy tone generators?

Because apparently nobody cares.

Recently our 15+ year old Gorenje Pacific washing machine was stolen from underneath our apartment. It was rusty, temperamental and didn’t spin well. So in a way we were glad to get the opportunity to buy a new machine. The reason that we were waiting off so long was because we wanted to buy a new machine when we bought our first home. The same thing will happen with our fridge (incidentally, both were appreciated hand-me-downs from parents). So, at the moment our brand new washing machine is sitting in its cardboard box, with holes cut out of the back for hoses, power cable and a bloody thick bicycle chain. This way, when we buy our house next year, the washing machine will be in pristine condition.

So, I was waiting for the washing to finish today when it plays me a 10-bar classical melody to announce its completion of duties. This got me thinking about the use of music in appliances. Firstly, would people appreciate the use of mp3 quality sound as a regular part of their housework? Maybe, maybe not. There is a precedent in the use of mp3 ringtones replacing the beeping of yesteryear. However, I believe that any tone would desirably be short and appropriate. Here are some examples:

An oven that, upon reaching the set temperature, plays the Nelly song with the line “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”.

A freezer that plays “Ice, Ice, Baby”.

Incidentally, there is already in existence a condom that, upon “contact”, breaks into the Hallelujah Chorus. E says “why would anyone buy that?” I also wonder.

In a $500 washing machine, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to implement a decent speaker and sound chip. Why? Well, even if the finishing tone were to remain monophonic, at least it could have less of the harsh ring associated with appliance beeps. Rant over.

What is the Best Speedometer Design?

My own.

Most analogue speedometers max out at about 200 – 240km/h and use about 270 degrees of rotation. Given that the speed limit in Australia is usually 100 – 110km/h this means that the entire scope of legal activity is conducted in less than 140 degrees, limiting notational accuracy.

The two cars that I own currently would not get anywhere near the top end of their speedometer. The first has a top speed of about 170km/h, but the speedometer goes up to 200. The second makes it to 200, but the speedometer goes to 240. I previously owned a car that would struggle to 110, but you wouldn’t know that from the speedometer. And, before you ask, the top speed was limited by gearing.

In the 1980s digital speedometers solved this problem by dealing only with the present. It didn’t matter what speed your car could achieve, you saw your current speed and that was it. Unfortunately when accelerating hard, it became hard to ‘hit’ a certain speed. With an analogue speedometer you could see the needle approaching your aimed at speed. Not so with digital.

Some speedometers have two sets of numbers, one for km/h and one for mph. So why not have two sets of numbers for low and high speed operation. The numbers could start at 0, with an entire rotation indicating 150, for example. A needle pointing at 100 would also be pointing at 250. The difference of 150km/h is large enough to avoid confusion – “I wonder whether I’m at 40 or 190?” These numbers mean that 0 – 100km/h covers 240 degrees of rotation.

There’s a major problem with this system: the needle that stops the speedometer reading dropping below zero. This needle also stops the speedometer covering more than 360 degrees. An easy fix – have it automatically retract when getting close (for example, at 270 degrees of rotation).

Does this exist already. I don’t know. However, I think this provides the best of both worlds – a high speed readout with low speed accuracy.

Is It Possible to Count the Number of Notes Written by J.S. Bach?

Probably not.

There are too many missing works to present an accurate count. In addition, does one count tied notes, grace notes etc? Based on a very non-representative example I hazard a guess of 10 million notes.

Let’s assume that he started writing at about 15, giving him a writing life of 50 years. 200,000 notes a year equal about 600 notes a day.

Below are my samples. It took long enough counting these, so I’m not volunteering to do the rest.

Prelude 21 (from WTC 1) – 599 notes

Fugue 21 (from WTC 1) – 945 notes

Invention 13 – 566 notes

Sinfonia 15 – 670 notes

Variation 17 (from Goldberg Vars) – 708 notes

Based on these, I get the following ROUGH estimates:

Well Tempered Clavier: 75ooo notes

Inventions & Sinfonias – 20000 notes

Goldberg Variations: 25000 notes

Considering ensemble pieces such as the Brandenburg Concertos, a number in the millions really does make sense.

Does Anyone Else Find the Nodong Missile Funny?

Yes, yes, and for a semantic explanation: yes!

Is the Engine Bay of an XD Elantra Well Organised?

No.

On the right (looking from the cabin), timing and auxilliary belts lie very close to the right front suspension. Various pulleys are difficult to access (and therefore to loosen).

On the left, the battery is surrounded by cavernous space.

Have fun replacing a timing or air-conditioning belt. You’ll want a UJ and socket extentions.

Should Plugging in Headphones Mute the Speakers?

No.

My father has just bought an Apple iMac. He uses the speakers most of the time, but wants to be able to use his wireless headphones sometimes. At the moment this involves plugging the base station for the headphones in and out of the 3.5mm socket (which, of course is located on the back of the machine).

I can see two possible solutions. The first is a toggle switch which is either on “speakers” or “headphones”. That way the wireless headphone dock is permanently plugged in.

The second solution is to fix it in software. I don’t mind how it’s done. It just needs to be done. There is no reason why plugging in headphones should mute the speakers!

Does Radio Have A Long Term Future?

No.

Recently I have been listening to the 3rd cricket test between Australia and South Africa. Normally I would listen to this on the radio, but we happened to have an election yesterday and for some strange reason democracy is considered more worthy of airspace. No drama, I just turned on my phone’s wi-fi, launched media player and listened away happily to the streaming coverage, election in the background on television.

I believe it is inevitable that in next 10 years mobile broadband will be either free or so cheap that everyone will have it. I also believe that it will be speed-limited. Given this, why would anybody use a radio when they can use a computer and access any streaming station?

On the go, people will use their net-enabled phones (relegating those phones with FM tuners to a historical footnote). At home, they will use their desktop computers or standalone internet radios. By 2012 I believe that internet radios will be available for less than AU$50. At the moment they are hovering about the $200 – $300 mark. We’ll see whether it happens, or whether over-the-air radio comes up with some new tricks to stay viable.

The Life Explorer

The Life Explorer borrows its title from the book “The Music Explorer” by Guy Noble. Guy covers a heap of  musical material in a very little space, managing to be informative and entertaining. Here I will discuss some of the issues that present themselves to me in my mental travels. I hope that The Life Explorer is informative and entertaining.